"The battle started when the Georgians shelled Tskhinvali with cluster munitions and bombed it from the air. Most of the city was destroyed, but few civilian casualties were recorded, as most intelligent Ossetians fled to the safety of the Red Army. Concerned that they were not killing enough people, the Georgians told the people to flee on the only road that was still working, into Russia, but then they shot up that road. A lot of the smart Ossetians who were fleeing towards Russia and escaped death in Tskhinvali died on that road, and then the Georgians sent in their tanks to crush up cars with desperate people and screaming families. The Georgian Air Force used its American-made helicopters to fire rockets into little straw huts where poor Ossetians lived Africa-style, then sent brave Georgian warriors into the villages to finish off survivors.The Georgians made their biggest mistake of the war when they killed 15 Russian peacekeeping soldiers by shelling their base. They also destroyed 2 Russain tanks and a couple of trucks. But Russians captured 44 Georgian tanks, so they didn't really care about losing two."

The Georgians then went through the city with tanks and APCs like Rambo wannabes, shooting at the buildings and cars and anyone they saw while screaming WAHOO! Meanwhile, elite Georgian commandos were carrying out a special mission: redirecting all of the city's waterpipes to pump hundreds of gallons of water into tightly cramped basements where dozens of civilians were hiding. Georgian commanders later claimed that they were trying to help out the people and give them something to drink while hiding, and it was not their fault if they were all shittly swimmers. The Georgians were having a high old time, stealing shit from Ossetian corpses and the ruined city, and taking cell phone pictures of their atrocities to show their families what big men they were, until the Red Air Force joined in on the fun and began bombing Georgian troops and artillery positions, killing lots of Failiorgians and smashing a lot of their advanced military shit to scrap metal.

Having the World's most manueverable army, Russia was successfully conducting a flanking manuever, when one of its vechicles, BMD-1, carrying five Air Desantniks, broke down. Another vehicle stayed behind to tow it. Meanwhile a Georgian engineering company was conducting a "rapid retreat" and ran into the Desantniks. Despite being outnumbered, 50 to 10, the Desantniks pinned the MPRI trained Georgians in a building, and kept them there until the arrival of the Russian tanks, which then destroyed the entire building. Georgian casualties: 17 dead, 33 captured. Russian casualties: well, erm, one of the suits was dirty, and had to be dry cleaned, that counts, right?

Зурабчик, я живу в Украине около Киева. И успел в 2008 году немножко поупражняться по отстрелу сракашвильских офицериков - класно падают. жалко, что РОССИЯ с вами быстро разобралась, а то я бы ещё с несколькими пообщался в последний раз в их жизни, классно падают, когда получают пулю в лобешник. А полезете - снова получите, только ещё больше. МЫ УКРАИНЦЫ на этот раз пришлём вам только фигу от бублика. Тебе лично могу прислать несколько фотографий на память о твоих офицериках - может кого узнаешь. А недавно был снова в Южной Осетии и чихал я на ваши тупые сракашвильские законы. Сколько захочу столько и ездить буду, а без сракашвилии обойдусь. У нас места не хуже.